Like this:

First, let me make one thing clear. On May 6th, one of the first posts on this page detailed the crisis over at zeroPoint. We clearly stated that _shy and kerAn were going to be banned and that TosspoT would try to speak in their favour. All of these things happened or are at least imminent. This would be the appropriate time to sacrifice a dozen virgins to please me, your God. Come to think about it, don’t sacrifice them, send them straight here to my earthly loft.

In more Crossfire related topics, the column by AlcopoT has obviously resulted in a lot of comments. One of them was written by kerAn. According to him, he used the bot on a server without Punkbuster and then deleted everything except the log file. Boom, busted. Basically that’s like driving into a country where “police” is not even in the dictionary, robbing a bank and killing several employees and then going back to your home country with a video of your crime in your back pocket. That’s the point were “stupid” seems like a very mild expression. We haven’t heard of underscore shy yet but I didn’t really expect him to say anything. After all, he’s famous for joining teams together with slaz to go inactive after a few days.

So, where’s the punishment? The hunt for cheaters has often been equated with the medieval witch hunt. I’m all in favour of that and I’d be more than willing to take the position of the High Inquisitor. We’d torture cheaters and then burn them on a stake. Man, that would be fun, but I guess it wouldn’t really fit into modern times (nowadays they’d be sent to Guantanamo Bay, which is not that different from being brought to the Inquisitor). It would be quite unfair to the girl annajr though, who’s madly in love with kerAn.

Speaking of which, according to several studies published on the IRC channel of Harvard University (#harvard on GameSurge), cheating causes your testicles to grow into your stomach and reduces your penis size to an absolute minimum. It must be hard being together with that kind of guy and he’s probably using tools as well to provide her with at least some kind of satisfaction. Is he not punished enough already? Apart from being unable to give pleasure to any woman ever again, would banning him from ClanBase not destroy the last thing he has left in life, playing a random free online game?

Not that I really care, but it will be interesting to see what happens. If you ever reconsider the witch hunt, I’m ready to take my place. I’ve polished my knives to cut off fingers by the dozen, the Iron Maiden is ready, I have several boxes of matches at hand and I’ve practised the thumb screws.

P.S.: If you’ve actually tried to join #harvard, you’re a fucking nerd.

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