Seriously, people. While I go on holiday to laugh at all the goddamn hippies who have gathered to “protest” the G8 meeting in Germany, you decide to have some of the biggest scandals in Enemy Territory history. I don’t even know where to start.

So keran and shy are now banned. Big deal, really. My opinion is that bans are useless. I recommend letting them play, then give them free places at the next LAN and then apply the good old FMJ methods: While they’re sleeping, get towels and soap and beat the crap out of them. If anyone volunteers, we can also let them pick up the soap in the shower, but that’s optional. I assure you they’ll never even think about cheating after that.

Then perfo came along. The poor 16 year old boy who finally got the attention he needed is now banned. Boy, just imagine…you’ve had cheat accusations being thrown your way all the time, you go to LAN events and prove that you’re actually a very good player and then your brother cheats and you’re out. That’s like making it to the Miss Universe finals only to have your parents tell everyone right before it that you’re a guy. And snoop? Oh, he must be crying like hell, playing in the EuroCup for the third time and once again getting fucked in the ass by ClanBase, even with an admin as their team manager. If life was that cruel to me, I think I’d already have killed myself…just kidding, Jesus, it’s just a goddamn game. But well, if the Internet is your life, it might be justified. Even more hilarious – they’ve just joined junk52 and I though it wouldn’t take them long to ruin the name, but they really exceeded all my expectations – playing with AzA, the guy who’s wanking over anime pictures all day, and getting a player of their lineup banned, that seems like they’ve already accomplished quite a lot in only one week.

Oh, and there is more. The World Cup has banned the Netherlands after perfo got banned and (now hold on to your chair) koto sent a zip proving that rocky cheats. Really? That’s like Saddam Hussein publicly stating that George W. Bush is violating human rights and should therefore be punished. Anyway, I don’t get why this news post got so many comments since we’ve started calling it Care Cup already and NxM is not ashamed of admitting that he, as the cup’s admin, is banned from the Dutch IRC channel. The news is posted by Skydeh, who is the perfect example that British people are ugly, dumb and have no sense of humour. Or is he even British? Anyway, he’s living on an Island, which is bad enough already. And these people are running a World Cup. I mean, come on. That’s like San Marino hosting the Olympics. Although I’ve heard they’re a front runner for the next Paralympics.

Other news? ClanBase is still run by people who have shit for brains, doneX has come out of the closet right when we needed a clueless admin replying to comments and TosspoT is trying to get everyone banned so that his friends keran and shy are not hit that hard.

Quite a week, eh? Would you excuse me while I stay away from this pathetic excuse for an online game that you call Enemy Territory for a while, thank you very much.

P.S.: Not going to stay away, but it felt like a proper sentence to finish the news post. You know, like perfo could just have written a statement and it could have ended “See you in hell, bitches, I’ll be banging your sisters while you sleep.”. That would have been appropriate. Ah, if only I was caught cheating.